Here are some of the stories from our employees about the chracters they meet day-today and the funny situations they have been in...
Anti Social Behaviour
A youth had just appeared in court for his anti-social behaviour and his solicitiors were in negotiations about the restrictions to be placed on him. The Council wanted him stopped from visiting a particular area, but his representative explained that there was a shop in the middle of that estate that he visited on behalf of his mother. A bargain was struck: the youth could go straight to the shop but then leave the area immediately, without loitering.
“What?”, said the youth when this was explained to him.
“You mean I can’t drop any crisp packets on the floor?"
ASBO-d and Dangerous?
A man had been terrorising a neighbourhood, and his neighbours had had enough. At his trial to decide whether or not he would receive an ASBO, the defence counsel asked him what his reaction was when he learnt that many of his neighbours considered him an aggressive and violent man. Our friendly neighbour leant over the side of the witness box and snarled, "I'll kill anyone who says that!"
The ASBO was awarded!
Housing Officer Story
A new Housing Officer was doing his first home visit programme. As he knocked on the door of his first house, he was greeted by a very smartly dressed lady – the tenant's wife. "Come in, come in," she said, "but we'll have to talk in the kitchen".
As she led him through the living room to the kitchen, he noticed that the front room was full of lots more smartly dressed people, in black!
He'd walked into the middle of a wake!
Planning Ahead
A Managing Director of a social housing organisation was walking around a conference with his second-in-command, discussing the importance of never making assumptions in the social housing sector (you'd have hoped this already applied in the private sector).
They noticed a man and woman at a stand close by - the man was grey haired and apparently in his fifties, and the woman was much shorter, slighter in build and obviously much younger.
"What about those two?" enquired the MD, "how should we deal with them if they visit us?”
The Director, desperate to impress, said: "Obviously, he's the senior person and that's his secretary."
"So you would spend more time with him than the woman if they came to the stand?"
"Definitely!"
"Well," said the MD, "whilst the man is a senior housing person, I'd spend more time talking to the woman because; she is currently his deputy; and she will be a Chief Executive/ Director in her own right within 5 years, and is more likely to be a potential customer!"
Politicians…
A particularly demanding Lead Councillor for Housing had asked for the latest results of a local aerial survey of the borough, which showed the level of heat retention. The properties that had the worst heat retention were shown on the survey as "cold".
The Councillor had a good look at the details and then demanded to know why a particular part of the borough was showing as having no heat retention at all. He insisted on knowing which properties they were and who was responsible.
"That might be a little difficult, Councillor," was the response.
"Why?" snarled the politician, suspecting an officer "cover up".
"The area you've identified is a cemetery!"
For more stories from the front line visit www.housingstories.co.uk